Aftershocks
by willow1850
Summary: Once Amaru has left Kate what damage has been left behind?


**Seth/Kate pairing.**

 **Disclaimer: Don't own the from Dawn till Dusk the Series.**

She stood in front of the small bathroom mirror fresh from the shower, still naked, memories that barely felt like her own haunting her. She had just finished towel drying her hair which was almost black now, freshly dyed. She threw the box in the bin to make some room on the sink, she grabbed the scissors and took a breath before she started cutting. It ended up shorter than she had intended it to be, shorter than she remembered it ever being before and that made her smile. It now sat it just an inch or two below her shoulder. She was tempted to cut it even shorter, but held off in case she needed to tie it up later. She didn't want to look like the old Kate, or Amaru's Kate anymore, she just wanted to look like the Kate who had made it through all the shit of the past year. She wasn't going to pretend that she was the same girl anymore to herself or anyone else.

A light knock at the door startled her from her thoughts. "Hey Kate, we're back, brought back some food, you should have something" Seth called from the other side of the door. "Awesome, just give me a couple minutes" she replied. She threw everything else in the garbage bag that already contained 'her' clothes and tied it off. Part of her wanted to burn them, to once and for all destroy the last remnants of that bitch. For now, she was happy to just push it to the side. She reached into the plastic bag she had her new toiletries and clothes and grabbed some deodorant and slicked it on. She pulled out the plain white tank and little black shorts out of the bag and cut off the price tags. She pulled them on quickly and took a last look in the the mirror. She had no underwear, which was awkward but there was only so much you could buy in a convenience store. She sighed and turned to the door.

She walked out, avoiding the stares the two Gecko's were giving her. She grabbed a bag of fries from the stack of food and sat down cross legged on the closest bed to her. She looked up to find their faces dropping comically from her hair to her breasts and back again. "They don't sell underwear in convenience stores ok, so just shut up" she said with an eye roll. Richard smirked and Seth's mouth gaped open for a moment longer before responding "Your hair is nice". "It's fine, it will do for now" she said wanting to move the conversation on from her appearance "So what's next boys?".

The Gecko's shrugged and they made some light conversation as they ate, they talked about some vague plans about jobs and directions they could go in from here. It was nice and comfortable and exactly what she needed but she found her eyes wandering to the clock in the room and she could already feel her exhaustion catching up with her. Kate was starting to feel really anxious, and agitated, perhaps the shock was just wearing off or maybe she was just scared of the dreams that now seemed somehow inevitable. She knew she didn't want to sleep alone, but she had already heard the brothers arrange to give her a bed of her own. She understood they were trying to be considerate and while she appreciated the gesture it was misguided. Her hands twisted together and she realised she needed to bite the bullet and ask one of them to share her bed. Despite the deep connection she felt with these two she felt extremely awkward asking. She wasn't used to having to ask for such things from anyone. Although in the last year she had spent more time in other men's and some women's bed's than she cared to remember. Amaru had tried to break Kate in many different ways, sex had been one of her favourite methods, followed quickly by the slaughter of innocents, but that seemed to have a genuine place in her grand plans whereas the sex was explicitly just to hurt Kate and make her submit to make it stop. Turns out she could take more pain than Amaru had anticipated.

It was almost funny that despite having so much experience of sex, she still felt oddly like a virgin. She still had not experienced sex when she was at the reigns of her body. She wondered would it even be any different other than the fact she would have a say in who it was with, not that that wouldn't be enough. The sex through Amaru had been so empty though, it had been sad and desperate and so unlike what she would have imagined it would have been like. She was not looking for someone to have sex with her tonight though, just someone who cared about her to lie beside her so she wouldn't be alone.

"Guys, about the sleeping arrangements?" She asked hesitantly. "Don't worry princess, that's all sorted take whichever bed you want, it's all yours" Seth replied quickly. She smiled, she knew he was trying so hard. "Yeah, about that, I don't think I'm gonna be able to sleep alone" she stated as plainly as she could manage. She watched the two brothers' look at each other, confusion and uncertainty clear on their faces. "I don't care which of you it is, I suspect I'm going to have nightmares, I can already practically feel them and I just want somebody near me ok?" she asked, a slight thready desperation to her voice. "Sure of course princess whatever you want, I'll sleep with you, Richard will be out most the night anyway" Seth smiled over at her. She was glad it was Seth, he knew her best like this in any case. Richard nodded and smiled at her and left without any further word.

Seth undressed and it some ways in felt like old times "Preference for which bed princess?". "This is fine" she replied pointing at the bed she was sitting on. Seth nodded and joined her and they both crawled under the covers. When they were settled she took his hand and put it around her waist, "Please" she whispered. "Whatever you need princess" he murmured back "Can I ask why the drastic change with the hair?". Kate sighed "I'm not her anymore Seth, I'm not Amaru but I'm not the old Kate anymore either... I'm just broken now and I'm not sure how the pieces fit back together anymore". "You're not broken Kate, you are the strongest person I know" he replied pressing a kiss into the back of her head. She smiled a sad smile "I had almost every choice taken from me for so long, from the tiniest decision all the way up to the big ones. Kisa told me I wasn't responsible for what was done through my body but these hands killed people Seth, innocent people. I felt her do it... And am I even a virgin anymore? She had sex with this body, she made me feel it, I didn't want it but I couldn't stop her… I guess I just don't know who I am anymore". Seth clutched her tightly and she could have sworn she felt a hot tear fall on her bare shoulder "Shit Kate, I'm sorry, this is all our faults. I'm so sorry. I should never have left you". "I don't blame you Seth, you know that right. I get why you did what you did, I do" she replied as she pushed herself even closer to him. This conversation would have been impossible for her a year ago, now there was little she hadn't seen, little she hadn't been made do since then.

Seth replied "I think you are what you want to be, if you decide you are a virgin, then you can treat it that way if you like". She laughed a mirthless laugh "I don't think it works that way Seth, but can I ask you a question?". "Sure" came the reply as she felt another phantom kiss pressed against her head. "Seth, what is sex like when you have a choice, when it's with someone you choose? All I felt through her was harsh and desperate and so painfully lonely. So much disgust and anger. Please tell me it's better." She felt him tense around her but she pushed on "I know this is a strange question but before all this happened, sex was something I looked forward to, it sounded exciting and loving and wonderful. Now, I'm just not so sure anymore" she replied silent tears streaming down her face as she turned to Seth. Seth looked concerned but so unsure of what to say, he wanted so much to make this better for her. She could see that. Finally, he took her small hand in his "Yes princess, sex is better when it's with someone you want to be with. I promise" he replied and he kissed her hand lightly. Kate smiled at him, her first genuine smile since all this had happened. They just lay there looking at each other for a time. Kate finally reached up and slid her hand across his cheek, gently stroking his stubbly beard. She waited for him to pull away and when he didn't she leaned in and kissed him gently. She was sure he would pull away, still seeing her as that old naive Kate. Instead he pulled her flush with him and deepened the kiss. The thrill that went through her felt like a revelation. The want and lust and the passion coursing through her veins gave her real hope. They kissed and touched and caressed each other but Seth never pushed her. If anything, he let her take all the reigns, she knew it was his way of telling her that she was safe with him. She already knew that though. She had seen the best and worst of this man already and she already knew she loved him. She fell asleep that night in his arms with a small smile on her face.

Richard woke her the next morning as Seth was already in the shower with a smirk. "So, dare I ask what you would have done, if I had offered to be your snuggle buddy last night" he asked. Kate narrowed her eyes and grabbed a bottle of deodorant off the side table and threw it at him. He caught it with ease and chuckled lightly. "Here I got you these" he said as he threw het over a couple bags. Kate looked at them confused and looked inside, he had gotten her clothes, like new clothes with tags and everything. They were basics, but they were really nice and they included underwear in the right size. "Do I even want to know how you knew my bra size?" she asked skepticism clear in her tone. Richard just smirked knowingly and winked and Kate laughed shaking her head. When he spoke again those his voice was serious "I just didn't want you feeling uncomfortable heading out today that's all" he scratched the back of his neck and looked away from her. Kate found herself tearing up at the sweet gesture and she walked over and hugged him "thanks Richie, that means a lot" and it did. "Anything for you Katie Cakes" he said as he smiled down at her.

Moments later Seth walked out of the bathroom in just a towel and Kate just quirked an eyebrow at that "You leave me any hot water?" she asked. He smirked back "Guess you'll just have to find out" he said as he made his way to the bed and started getting dressed. She smiled it was something she had often said to him all those months ago in Mexico. Kate had missed these simple easy interactions with people, her people. "Richie got me clothes and underwear, right size and everything" Kate said with a smirk and watched his jaw set as he scowled over at Richard. She took that moment to head to the bathroom feeling smug with herself. She heard them bicker in the way only siblings can as she got in the shower.

The day was simple and Richard and Seth tried hard for her, to make it simple and normal. Although normal had had a serious redefinition for her over the last few years. That night was the first time she made love to Seth. He was kind and considerate and loving. It had been everything she hoped sex would be before all of this had happened and nothing at all like it had been when Amaru had been the one behind the wheel. It was exciting, passionate and loving. That night was not her first time having sex, but it was her first time making love. That was a distinction that was extremely important as it turns out she thought to herself as she stared over at Seth's sleeping face. She was still twisted and broken, but part of her was now healing and it might be too early to say for sure, but she finally saw a future where she was happy.


End file.
